Words From the Broken Mouth

I try…

I try so hard… yet all they see is my failures!

It’s never good enough.. or I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that, or I’m sorry I did say that…

You need to be careful with your words! Once it’s spoken out in the universe it can’t be taken back! My mom use to tell me growing up “you better think before you speak” and I never understood that, guess what? I do now more than ever! Maybe that’s my karma, maybe I deserve to be scarred with words out of the mouths of others! I always thought my own words where the most toxic to oneself but it isn’t at all, it’s the words that are spoken at you, to you, and about you. It’s hard not to take it personal because verbal abuse is definitely one of the hardest things to heal from. I’d take broken bones over broken words any day.

When you are screamed at for never doing anything right, or not being good enough, or you didn’t do this on time, or didn’t buy the right thing, it’s devastating to your energy. When it’s someone you love doing the screaming and yelling it makes you mentally ill and it’s so hard to come back up from the rude hurtful words. How do you heal? How does someone who loves you use what hurts you so much against you?? I try to understand but it’s so much easier not to understand but yet I destroy myself trying to get it. People are cruel!

When you have a so called best friend use every insecurity agains you to rip you apart, make fun of you, belittle you, and call you a liar it’s very damaging! They say these people do this because they are jealous but I think it’s more that they hate themselves they need the power to feel somewhat better!

I don’t know if I’m quite I guess you know why, I’m scared to let anyone in because they will use it against me to hurt me or they will yell at me and tell me I’m not good enough!! I’m a broken mirror and I’m shattered, my pieces are all over, a little piece of me is spread out amongst this world, I just hope someday my pieces help someone else…